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Football Announcer

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    My God, that’s us they’re talking about. “Lest their relatives might grieve often, often give them leave “Decorations too, galore What on earth could man wish more?” We cannot allow this scurrilous insubordination to go unpunished. “And yet, alas, so goes the rumour “The staff all lack a sense of humour.” Utter rubbish. It’s not all rude rhymes. In fact, er, they’ve put in a rather helpful glossary of military terms. Really? “Duds, there are two kinds “a shell on impact failing to explode is called a dud. “These are unhappily less plentiful on the other kind of dud.” Go on. “The kind that draws a large salary “and explodes for no reason far behind the fighting area.” The battlefield is not a place for humour! Humour, my dear Howfield, is what separates civilisation from incivility. Us from the Boche. Whilst Roberts and his men are busy writing poems poking fun at us brass hats, the Germans’ equivalent literary contribution is a hymn of hate. Have you heard it? Course I’ve heard it. Has all the subtlety of a dawn barrage from Big Bertha. What the Germans sing or don’t sing is irrelevant.

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