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Fine Clothes

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  • Fine Clothes

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    Fine Clothes Description

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    .This chap here wants to know why we don’t write more about the war. I rather thought we did Fine Clothes? No the “wider” war. The “big picture” et cetera. We can’t write about the “wider war” because we have no idea what’s going on. We’re just fighting in it. Well, it’s lucky we have illustrious war correspondents like William Beach Thomas to keep us informed. Teach Bomas? That idiot. Are you trying to make me feel worse? He’s highly respected because he always manages to write from the “thick of the action”. Funny how we’ve never actually seen him though, isn’t it? dress up game, you’re being cynical. He must know what he’s talking about. He’s in the Daily Mail. I am here, in no man’s land, where all hell has broken loose. The air is thick with bullets and shells but I don’t mind that. And now I’m climbing up a conveniently dangling rope into an observation balloon. I’m now right above the battle and looking down on the gallant charge of the, hmm, Umpshires. Yes Fine Clothes. The brave men of the th Umpshire Regiment, charging straight at the elite Prussian guard  who are all surrendering. Yes, they are shouting, “Kamerad” and putting up their hands. Same again, please. I am now over the German battle lines where I can tell you, with complete confidence, that the cavalry are laying down a barrage of shells, whilst the submarines have advanced into the wood. This has been me, William Teach Bomas, writing exclusively from the middle of the bottle. Sorry, battle. Stop it, Jack. You’re hurting me. Shhh, would you two, please, behave! There are very sick men here. This is not the Palace of Varieties. No, no, the girls here are much prettier. Splendid, Harris, that’s much better I think he’ll be very pleased with that Fine Clothes. Thank you, dress up games. Ah, what is it, Barnes? Are you still taking submissions, dress up games? We are as long as there is no poetry. The editor has decided he is sick of rhyme.

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