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Best Makeover Time

Best Makeover Time

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pause. I don’t need to hear you sing. You’ll be my son. I’ll find you. I’m gonna find you. I know, I’m drunk and naked, and I’m talking to a computer right now, but I’m gonna find you. I don’t know how, ’cause you don’t have a name. But I’ll find you and I’ll get you any shoe you want. All right? And I’ll name you. You could be Brent. We’ll both be Brent. That’s a good name. voice cracking And I’ll get you little suits. I’ll get you the little suits. So, we’d go to lunch, I will hold your hand and I’ll make you go to the host, you’ll be like, British accent ‘Table for two.’ They’ll be like, ‘Is that his son, or a little business partner?’ voice cracking They’re not gonna know. I’ll find you right now. Google, ‘little orphan boys with no names from England.’ laughing !” They’re like, “Boss, he’s getting weirder!” Side note, the only thing worse than getting caught jerking off by your roommate, is getting caught crying naked, while watching orphans sing on The X Factor. I’ve never seen a more confusing entrance in my entire life. My roommate, who is my cousin, that I have to see at every family function, just walked in and had, like, six emotions in seven seconds. I’ve never seen anything like it. He goes, “Hey, you wanna eat? Holy ! Ha-ha-ha-ha! What are you doing? Ha! I gotta move!” laughing So, I woke up the next day, and I started laughing, immediately. No, I did. Here’s why. Because I realized it was ego. It was just ego. I did with the ego and it ed me up. Because here is me, okay, in life. Biggest romantic you’ve ever known. Growing up, loved love, that’s all I cared about. I was a six-year-old kid who would look out his bedroom window, see Laurie ride her bicycle by and be like, child voice “One day, she’ll be mine.” I was. Then my little brother, who’s , would come out and be like, “You’re being a faggot.” You know what I mean, like Games That’s how bad I am. That’s all I thought about. Like I said, I was an average student, so I used to skip school and see every romantic comedy, every romance movie.

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